Читать онлайн
Dancing on Coffins. Black comedy
Black comedy
Yan Bratovich
© Yan Bratovich, 2017
ISBN 978-5-4483-8889-7
Created with Ridero smart publishing system
EXT. MINNEAPOLIS – CITY ROAD – DAY
An old black JEEP with a coffin strapped to the roof makes its way down the road, following a stream of cars.
EXT. BANK – DAY
Coming out of the bank, a fat rat runs out onto the road, the Jeep closing in on it, running it over.
INT. JEEP – DAY
Four people sit. At the wheel, HAROLD HOFFMAN (31), tall and thin dressed in a long black overcoat; head of funeral home “HON”. On his neck hangs a thick silver chain with a tiny silver coffin pendant.
On the passenger side sits HITCH (22), an albino with a bitter face, dressed in a black shirt and a black suit.
In the back we see HAZONE (36) and HUMPBACKED SILLY (38). HAZONE, a typical skin headed goon in a black polo neck and jacket holding a shovel, ready to dig a grave. HUMPBACKED SILLY, is literally a humpbacked man with a silly look on his face, disheveled hair, dressed in a black vest and old grey sweater.
HITCH
We squashed that rat!
HAROLD HOFFMAN
(One bank rat is more, one has is less. What’s the odd? These bank rats are bloodsuckers and they will be worse than us. Believe me.)
HOFFMAN lights a up a brown cigarette.
HITCH
(to Hoffman)
Harry, what are we carrying this woman in the coffin for?
HAROLD HOFFMAN
The client hasn’t paid. He came, threw his dead wife in the coffin, and took off.
Hitch laughs loudly and hysterically. HOFFMAN smiles.
HITCH
And now it’s on our head?
HAROLD HOFFMAN
Yes.
HITCH
So why are we dragging it around? We could have left it at the office!
HAROLD HOFFMAN
Because his time has run up, and I’ve used the last number he’s called me from to track him down. We’re going to his house to return her.
HITCH
(Laughing)
I can’t wait to see the look on his face!
HAROLD HOFFMAN
(Oh yes. So… deathburger for everyone.