Читать онлайн
Next Door Neighbours: A Comedy; In Three Acts
Next Door Neighbours: A Comedy; In Three Acts
PROLOGUE,
By T. VAUGHAN, Esq
SPOKEN BY MR. BANNISTER, JUN
To Puff, or not to Puff – that is the Question —
Puff by all means, say I, it helps digestion.
To prove my maxim true, pray read the Papers —
From Quacks of State, to those who cure the Vapours.
You'll find them, one and all, puff high their skill,
Tho' nine in ten, are oft'ner found to kill. —
Yet Puff's the word, which gives at least a name,
And oftener gains the undeserving Fame:
Or wherefore read we of Lord Fanny's Taste,
Of me– an Actor —wonderfully chaste!
And yet so squeamish is our Lady elf,
She'd rather die – than paragraph herself;
So fix'd on me – the Prologue speaking Hack,
To stop, with Puff-direct, the Critic Pack,
And who so harmless as our present Bard,
Claiming no greater or distinct reward,
Than what from free Translation is her due,
Which here in fullest trust she leaves to you:
With this remark – Who own their Debts with pride,
Are well entitled to the Credit Side.
And as for those with whom she makes so free
They'll ne'er complain of English Liberty;
But glory to behold their Tinsel shine,
Through the rich Bullion of the English Line.
Fear then avaunt! Trust to a British Jury —
With them, an honest Verdict I'll ensure you:
Let Echo catch the sound – 'Tis Pratte1 enacts,
You're Judges of the Law, as well as Facts.
On this she rests her Cause, and hopes to find,
As Friends, and Next Door Neighbours, you'll be kind;
At least, this only punishment ensue,
A Frown– and that's severe enough, from you.
Thus puff'd– I freely to the Court commit her,
Not doubting, as a Woman, you'll acquit her —
DRAMATIS PERSONÆ
ACT I
SCENE I. An Antichamber at Sir GeorgeSplendorville's, adjoining a Ball-room
Enter Bluntly, meeting a Servant in Livery
BLUNTLY
Come, come, is not every thing ready? Is not the ball-room prepared yet? It is past ten o'clock.
SERVANT
We have only to fix up the new chandelier.
BLUNTLY
I'll have no new chandelier.
SERVANT
My master said the last ball he gave, the company were in the dark.
BLUNTLY
And if you blind them with too much light, they will be in the dark still.
SERVANT
The musicians, sir, wish for some wine.
BLUNTLY
What, before the ball begins? No, tell them if they are tipsy at the end of it, it will be quite soon enough.
SERVANT
You are always so cross, Mr. Bluntly, when my master is going to have company.
BLUNTLY
Have not I a right to be cross? For while the whole house is in good humour, if there was not one person cross enough to take a little care, every thing would be wasted and ruined through extreme good temper. (A man crosses the stage.) Here, you – Mister – Pray are you the person who was sent with the chandelier?
SHOPMAN
Yes, sir.
BLUNTLY
Then please to take it back again – We don't want it.
SHOPMAN
What is your objection to it, sir?
BLUNTLY
It will cost too much.