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The Lame Lover
The Lame Lover / A Comedy in Three Acts
PROLOGUE
Written and Spoken by Mr. Gentleman
Prologues, like cards of compliment, we find,
Most as unmeaning as politely kind;
To beg a favour, or to plead excuse,
Of both appears to be the gen'ral use.
Shall my words, tipt with flattery, prepare
A kind exertion of your tend'rest care?
Shall I present our Author to your sight,
All pale and trembling for his fate this night?
Shall I sollicit the most pow'rful arms
To aid his cause – the force of beauty's charms?
Or tell each critic, his approving taste
Must give the sterling stamp, wherever plac'd?
This might be done – but so to seek applause
Argues a conscious weakness in the cause.
No – let the Muse in simple truth appear,
Reason and Nature are the judges here:
If by their strict and self-describing laws,
The sev'ral characters to-night she draws;
If from the whole a pleasing piece is made,
On the true principles of light and shade;
Struck with the harmony of just design,
Your eyes – your ears – your hearts, will all combine
To grant applause: – but if an erring hand
Gross disproportion marks in motley band,
If the group'd figures false connexions show,
And glaring colours without meaning glow,
Your wounded feelings, turn'd a diff'rent way,
Will justly damn – th' abortion of a play.
As Farquhar has observ'd, our English law,
Like a fair spreading oak, the Muse should draw,
By Providence design'd, and wisdom made
For honesty to thrive beneath its shade;
Yet from its boughs some insects shelter find,
Dead to each nobler feeling of the mind,
Who thrive, alas! too well, and never cease
To prey on justice, property, and peace.
At such to-night, with other legal game,
Our vent'rous author takes satiric aim;
And brings, he hopes, originals to view,
Nor pilfers from th' Old Magpie, nor the New 1.
But will to Candour chearfully submit;
She reigns in boxes, galleries, and pit.
Dramatis Personæ
ACT I
Enter Serjeant Circuit and Charlot
CHARLOT
I tell you, Sir, his love to me is all a pretence: it is amazing that you, who are so acute, so quick in discerning on other occasions, should be so blind upon this.
SERJEANT
But where are your proofs, Charlot? What signifies your opening matters which your evidence cannot support?
CHARLOT
Surely, Sir, strong circumstances in every court should have weight.
SERJEANT
So they have collaterally, child, that is by way as it were of corroboration, or where matters are doubtful; then indeed, as Plowden wisely observes "Les circonstances ajout beaucoup depoids aux faits." – You understand me?
CHARLOT
Not perfectly well.
SERJEANT
Then to explain by case in point; A, we will suppose, my dear, robs B of a watch upon Hounslow heath – dy'e mind, child?
CHARLOT
I do, Sir.
SERJEANT
A, is taken up and indicted; B swears positively to the identity of A. – Dy'e observe?
CHARLOT
Attentively.
SERJEANT
Then what does me A, but sets up the alibi C, to defeat the affidavit of B. – You take me.
CHARLOT
Clearly.
SERJEANT
So far you see then the ballance is even.
CHARLOT
True.