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Conversations with the Psychologist
Veronica Semenova
© Veronica Semenova, 2020
ISBN 978-5-0051-1341-2
Created with Ridero smart publishing system
Important Note
This book is not intended as a substitute for medical advice or treatment.
Any person with a condition requiring medical attention should consult a qualified medical professional or suitable therapist.
Veronica Semenova, Ph. D. is a private practicing psychologist, a psychotherapist, and is a member of the American Psychological Association, Psi Chi International Honor Society in Psychology, and the Association for Psychological Therapies.
Dr. Semenova is the author of numerous articles and several books (“Faces of Grief”; “Learn How to Cope with Death, Loss, Grief, and Bereavement – Helpful Tips from the Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy”). She is a regular guest on a weekly radio program on psychology and a member of the editorial board of the peer-reviewed journal “Journal of Social, Behavioral, and Health Sciences” (JSBHS).
Visit Dr. Semenova’s website at for more information. www.vsemenova.com
Chapter one. Problems of a Personal Nature
Irritation, Anger And Rage: How To Break The Vicious Circle?
Question: “Recently, I get irritated with everything. I get mad with everyone around me, and I yell and insult those who upset me. I even fought with my boyfriend. At the moment of anger, I feel that I cannot control myself. After an outburst of anger I feel better – but then I feel ashamed and guilty for my behavior and for upsetting those close to me. What can I do? How can I learn to deal with anger and control myself?”
Irritation, anger, and rage are links in one chain – emotional reactions to the environmental discrepancies between a person’s inner requirements (that is, the discrepancy between the desired) and the reality (the actual). We expect that we will be treated fairly. For example, we expect that our relatives will respect us and listen to our opinion. We expect that government employees will do their work correctly and in the specified time.
Every time our expectations fail, the gap is filled with irritation and anger. Every time someone breaks our rules and the terms of our agreements, or acts against our will, we are challenged to react and show irritation. We may accept this challenge or we can reject it. The choice is ours.
The intensity of irritation can also be estimated on an emotional scale from 1 to 10:
1. Light irritation
2. Irritation
3. Discontent
4. Disappointment
5. Unwillingness to accept the situation
6. Anger