Читать онлайн
Самые лучшие английские анекдоты
Адаптация текста, упражнения, комментарии и словарь С. А. Матвеева
© ООО «Издательство АСТ», 2014
* * *
One day Mongo is in his back yard digging a hole. His neighbour, seeing him there, decides to investigate. “What are you doing?” he asked. Mongo replies, “My goldfish died and I’m burying him.” “That’s an awful big hole for a goldfish, isn’t it?” asked the neighbour. Mongo shot back, “That’s because he’s inside your ugly cat!”
* * *
A porter in a British hotel comes upon an American tourist impatiently jabbing at the button for the lift.
“Sir, the lift will be here in a moment.”
“Lift? Lift?” replies the American. “Oh, you mean the elevator.”
“No sir, here we call it a lift.”
“Well, as it was invented in the United States, it’s called an elevator.”
“Yes sir, but as the language was invented here, it’s called a lift.”
* * *
Joe: I love you. I love you. Won’t you be my wife?
Jess: You must see mama first.